When I Have Thumbs

Sean T. Ziebarth

When I have thumbs I will hitchhike everywhere,

I will suck my thumbs,

Sit in the corner and stick my thumb in a plum pie,

And paint a face on my thumb and forefinger, like a puppet,

and make it talk.


When I have thumbs I will learn sign language,

I will give everyone the “thumbs-up” sign,

Smash my thumb with a hammer,

And give people the bird, because I will finally have a middle finger.


When I have thumbs I will count to ten on my fingers

and not have to use my toes,

I will snap,

Play the guitar,

Thumb wrestle,

And when it’s all over and I’ve done all those neat


That only five-fingered people can do,

I’ll ask God to take my thumbs away, and then once

Again enjoy the frustration of opening the lid of a

Yoplait yogurt.