by Sean T. Ziebarth
When I have thumbs I will hitchhike everywhere, I will suck my thumbs, Sit in the corner and stick my thumb in a plum pie, And paint a face on my thumb and forefinger, like a puppet, and make it talk. When I have thumbs I will learn sign language, I will give everyone the “thumbs-up” sign, Smash my thumb with a hammer, And give people the bird, because I will finally have a middle finger. When I have thumbs I will count to ten on my fingers and not have to use my toes, I will snap, Play the guitar, Thumb wrestle, And when it’s all over and I’ve done all those neat Things That only five-fingered people can do, I’ll ask God to take my thumbs away, and then once Again enjoy the frustration of opening the lid of a Yoplait yogurt.