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Aphorisms on the Pen

by Briggs Helton

1. Cheap pens are tragic implements, easily misplaced, forgettable. Buy a ten-dollar pen shaped like a woman with complementary curvature. Engrave your initials in her.

2. Make invisible ink with lemons or urine.

3. Lick the point.

4. Pens with good grips grunt like Atlas.

5. Angels pluck their feathers, fill the calamus, and record our sins.

6. One radiant spring God held a dandelion, squeezed sticky, yellow juice from stem, and wrote the bible on His forearm.

7. Words graven with an iron pen in the rock. Keep hidden desires in the pages of a hymnal.

8. I pray to see my pens in paradise, full of white ink.